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Distant Man

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You know I’ve seen your face so many times

And I know it’s wrong to believe

That I belong to you, but I do

It’s a haunting in a stranger’s dream that drags me down

And makes me look in your world

To that gaping hole on either side

The aged wheel on which we ride our time

Was never ours at all, at all

 

And you, you never showed me how

We’d travel to your place

So distant I was blind

And you, you never showed me how

We’d fly away in time

So distant I was blind

 

The letters fade, I loose my hands

And they must never know what I feel for you

But I do believe

The mirror plays its game

It knows that face and feels the pain that I feel

And the scars of life that cross your brow

Are fading now and anyhow this time

I’ll stand aside from you, alone

 

And you, you never showed me how

We’d travel to your place

So distant I was blind

And you, you never showed me how

We’d fly away in time

So distant I was blind

And you, you never showed me how

We’d shoot up to the stars

So distant I was blind

So distant I was blind

Trivia

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When I was younger…

I couldn’t grasp the beauty of routine,

The little things that happen in between,

The tiny steps that get you through the day-to-day

So don’t you delay

 

There’s no time for this now

 

Waiting patiently for the time to show

Drags the dregs, washing lines for the wind to blow

Whistle tunes from music halls at the back of my mind

              The back of my mind

Draw the curtains, take comfort in the joy of routine

Feel the thrill of danger confined to a screen

So sweetly it calls to me and helps me unwind

              Helps me unwind

 

Meanwhile…

 

The boredom needs, feeds, I scroll through my phone

Hear the noise, the clatter of the objects I own

Me and Alan Partridge, we understand, we’re two of a kind

              Two of a kind

 

Meanwhile…

 

Fillets of Quorn in front of the telly

All the news is bad and so is the weather

Something obscene may be happening outside

I pull up the rug, it’s none of my business

 

Don’t you forsake me, Mrs Green

Space

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Infinite, vast, formless nothingness

 

So vast it defines a whole dimension

Small enough to separate these words

We used to dream of exploration

Now our journey’s endlessly deferred

 

Emptied of the imprint of existence

You say that some more would help you live

Nature, they say, abhors a vacuum

Strange, then, that you think it’s mine to give

 

Give me space, outer space

 

Einstein even claimed to understand it

Used it to mess around with time

I’d like to know what he was taking

Something like that would do me fine

 

Give me space, outer space

 

Infinite, vast, formless nothingness

Contradiction

​

Is it just a feeling

Given to the next in line

To counter my lack of timing

I find myself clutching this rhyme

              The voice is loud

              That fights its way

Into my head

A profusion of concepts I don’t understand

This I know

But it feels good to me

 

Just sign on this dotted line

Speak quietly and quickly my friend

Or the forces of contradiction

Will overwhelm you in the end

              Still it comes

              Pounding on

Into my ears

An explosion of thoughts that I don’t understand

This I know

But it feels good to me

 

Faster than our thoughts can cope with

Restless in their race

Sharper than our hasty voices

Can call and whisper

“Life is left to these”

 

 

Reason is just a failure

When passions are stalking the floor

 

But the lesson is all too simple

Leave your base sentiments at the door

 

Holding forth

Banging on

Rinsing out

I’m emptying words of the meanings they hold

This I know

But it feels good to me

 

Higher than our tallest arches

Written in your face      

Colder than our wasted choices

We call and whisper

“Life is meant for these”

 

Faster than our thoughts can cope with

Restless in their race

Sharper than our hasty voices

Can call and whisper

“Life is left to these”

Waiting / Monologue

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I bought a newspaper, though of course I didn’t read it

I carried it with me, its presence reassured me

To clutch it to me, to keep it by me

Something to do to pass the time

 

Time passes more slowly when you’re waiting

 

A leap into the dark

Shoot into the black

Talking to ourselves like helpless children

Seek a guiding hand

Looking for a friend

Simple speculation

Talking to ourselves

A monologue

I Stand Aside

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I stand aside

I only came here to enjoy the ride

But if you’re planning something more beside

I stand aside

 

I stand apart

Demeanour like a dagger through the heart

Still waiting for a better place to start

I stand apart

 

        I live from day to day

        The Anglo-Saxon way

        To keep the truth at bay outside

        The man I have to be

        Comes home instead of me

        So I can run away and hide

        I stand aside

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        I have a certain stare

        I wear it everywhere

        So I don’t have to care inside

        I use it as a shield

        To keep the truth concealed

        So nothing is revealed or spied

        I stand aside

 

I stand alone

Still hoping for an option to atone

But if it challenges my comfort zone

I stand alone

 

I stand aside

The Nineteenth Day

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Inner darkness, he pays the price

Asks the question “what day?”

The web is broken, answers entice

Crying out “the nineteenth day”

Calling out on the nineteenth day

 

Journey homeward, he feels the pain

Branded deep inside his eyes

This number haunts, it takes the blame

For foolish foresight and their lies

Calling out on the nineteenth day

 

        The consequence of all my wisdom

        A parasite, a burden on my back

        So I can see I hold the future

        In hands that bleed from offspring biting back

​

Inner darkness, he steals the knife

All ancient mysteries now known

Seeking answers brother takes his life

Feigning madness takes his own

Calling out on the nineteenth day

​

        The consequence of all my wisdom

        A parasite, a burden on my back

        So I can see I hold the future

        In hands that bleed from offspring biting back

 

I hold the future…

Mrs Green

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It’s creeping into my mind

Insidiously the chamber unlocked

Stand in the cold, my nature defrocked

One, two, wait for the knock

Hello darling

 

I’m creeping into her mind

She’s the mice in the nursery rhyme

Cut off their tails, the pleasure is mine

Three, four, taking my time

See you later

 

Fire, fire, bridge on fire

All join hands and sing a round

Fire, fire, bridge on fire

See the streets in London town burn

See them burning

 

Mrs Green, you have left your pills on the mantelpiece

Take your fill, take another daydream and find release

For they cannot understand

Take your pretty face in my hands

For we must preserve all that we have shared

 

Feel the strangers

In the kitchen

Got no headroom

Need no reasons for my actions

 

I just wish that I could feel anything

Anything at all

Anything

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